I am writing this blog post about my own experience of ectopic pregnancy in the hope that it might help somebody else.
This was one of the scariest times of my life, but I want to use this blog post to reassure you that firstly, you can go on to have perfectly healthy pregnancies after an ectopic pregnancy, and secondly to raise awareness that your symptoms might differ to the traditional list that are in most medical literature.
I will start with some information about ectopic pregnancy because I knew very little about it before it happened to me.
Ectopic pregnancy is the term used when a fertilised egg implants somewhere other than in the womb, most often in the fallopian tubes. The egg creates a blockage where it becomes stuck and tries to develop in the tube, and this needs to be treated with either surgery, or medication. The pregnancy cannot continue.
According to the NHS, in the UK 1 in every 90 pregnancies is ectopic, which makes roughly 11,000 of these cases every year. You would think then that GP’s and medical professionals would be very aware of what to look for, but that was not my experience at all. If you know any medical professionals who work in this field, I would be so grateful if you could pass this blog on to them.
The official NHS website lists the symptoms of ectopic pregnancy as follows:
If you do have symptoms, they tend to develop between the 4th and 12th week of pregnancy.
Symptoms can include a combination of:
a missed period and other signs of pregnancy
tummy pain low down on one side
vaginal bleeding or a brown watery discharge
pain in the tip of your shoulder
discomfort when peeing or pooing
Call 999 for an ambulance or go to your nearest accident and emergency (A&E) department immediately if you experience a combination of:
These symptoms could mean that your fallopian tube has split open (ruptured). This is very serious and surgery to repair the fallopian tube needs to be carried out as soon as possible.
I had very different symptoms and it took me many phone calls to my fertility clinic and trips to the GP for anyone to take me seriously. What I experienced back in 2011 was this:
Faint lines on pregnancy tests that showed up repeatedly for me, day after day, combined with bleeding and spotting and a gut feeling that something just wasn’t right. I also experienced some mild shoulder tip pain, but this was also ignored by all medical professionals that I spoke to.
At the time I had a three-year-old at home and I was desperately trying to fall pregnant again, so initially these faint lines were a sign of hope for me… but as the days passed, I knew things weren’t right. I phoned my fertility clinic and cried down the phone, but they wouldn’t see me, so I took all of the pregnancy tests to my GP, along with my fluctuating temperature chart and a list of symptoms, like shoulder tip pain.
Alarmingly she wasn’t really that concerned and said I was “probably having a miscarriage,” (like it wasn’t a big deal), but sent me off to the Early Pregnancy Unit for a scan.
I sat in the waiting room, surrounded by couples looking at scan photos of beautiful babies knowing that this would not be my fate.
Sure enough, the scan didn’t show any signs of life in the uterus, but there was a “mass” in my fallopian tube. By this time, I was also bleeding heavily bright red, watery blood.
Initially, following the discovery of the ectopic pregnancy I was admitted to the gynaecology ward, where nobody had a clue what to do with me. Some staff members were congratulating me on my pregnancy! Others were commiserating me on my loss. Nobody knew what to do, what was happening or why I was there.
Eventually, even though there was a “mass” in my right Fallopian tube, and despite the fact that I was losing a fair amount of blood, it was Friday afternoon on the gynaecology ward, and I was declared “stable” was discharged.
They decided I was stable enough to go home and care for my young son. Stable enough to be a 30 minute drive away from a surgeon. Stable enough to just get on with life. I didn’t feel stable. I felt absolutely terrified.
I was told I had two options, I could let the issue “resolve on its own” or I could have an injection of a drug that would resolve the “issue”, but would leave me at risk of skin cancer for at least the next 6 months should I venture outside in the sunshine….
Speaking as an already anxious person, neither of these options were preferable.
So, I went home. Scared, lonely and totally confused. I spent the weekend on the sofa with my little boy running around and playing trains. I wondered if I would survive until my follow up appointment on the Monday morning. I was scared to fall asleep.
Fortunately, I did survive. Monday morning arrived and I packed a bag suspecting that I wasn’t going home again any time soon.
I arrived at the hospital and returned to the Early Pregnancy Unit. I really wasn’t feeling well. I don’t recall what happened specifically, other than a scan was repeated and suddenly a surgeon arrived.
This surgeon was my saviour, and I am eternally grateful to that man. He held up the scan and was horrified that I had been sent home on the Friday, he knew that the outcome could have been life threatening too. He apologised profusely.
He told me that I needed urgent surgery, and he would be able to help me. He must have seen the look of devastation on my face, because then he said a sentence that I will remember forever. “Please don’t worry, I’ve delivered hundreds of babies to women who have only got one remaining tube.” I could have kissed him! I needed reassurance that I wasn’t about to lose my fertility completely. He also told me that my fertility was only decreased by 25%, because the other tube can actually swing across and catch eggs from the opposite ovary! How amazing is that?!
That morning I had the surgery, I lost my right tube and my baby. At the time I felt numb and relieved to be alive. I stayed in hospital overnight and was discharged the following day.
However, when I returned home, I was struck with the most horrific anxiety and panic attacks. They were totally debilitating. The combination of being left at home absolutely terrified for all that time, along with the fluctuating hormones and emotional pain completely broke me. I was not well for a long time. In the end the anxiety was so intense I couldn’t drive the car. I had no support from the hospital, no follow up team to contact.
Eventually I managed to find a counsellor, who supported me with weekly sessions to work through the trauma, and also teach me some very helpful Cognitive Behavioural Therapy techniques that enabled me to be able to drive the car again.
I would like to add here that even now, 12 years later, I can still be caught off guard when driving the car and that same anxiety returns, but I know how to deal with it now. I would also like to add that my surgeon was 100% correct, and I went on to have two perfectly healthy pregnancies, which were supported with wonderful reflexology! For those of you who have experienced the loss of a baby, whether it was recently or a long time ago, please make time to process the trauma. Allow yourself space to grieve, because your feelings are real and justified and the loss of a pregnancy, however it occurs, is not usually something that you can just move on from. I send you all my love and support if you have ever experienced pregnancy loss. I hope that this blog helps you. If you suspect that you have an ectopic pregnancy, please get medical support. Trust your instincts, shout loudly and make your voice heard.
Tomorrow (15th October 2023) I will be lighting a candle at 7pm as part of the Wave of Light, in memory of all those babies who have been lost, please feel free to do the same.
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